Push The Cube Into My Chest!
by fantasyaddict101
Summary: Sam reminisces about the battle in Mission City. After a talk with Optimus Prime, he realizes something life changing...or hysterical, however you want to see it! One-shot. Humor


**I noticed this after watching Transformers (2007) for the 7****th**** time. (Hence, long ago.)**

**If you flame towards uncomfortable subject matter, please discontinue reading. No flames please! They're icky and burn my creativity.**

**Post ROTF.**

**Oh, and don't take my word for how Cybertronians reproduce, this just works for the story! ;)**

Sam Witwicky walked around the newly established NEST base. At the Base, located on an island called Diego Garcia, the Auto-bots could recharge in peace, practice with their weaponry in the Arms Room, and mingle with each other or humans.

Unfortunately, Sam was not able to hang out with his guardian Bumblebee as much as he would like to anymore ever since Arcee began to draw his attention.

Ever since the last big battle against the Fallen, Bee had a sudden attraction to the pink clad Arcee after she was injured during the fight.

Ratchet had needed more volunteers in the medical-bay so Bee helped aide the broken Arcee until she woke up and fell madly in love with him.

Sam walked by his guardian who was over in a corner making face-time with his new 'girl friend.' Sam had overheard Bee bragging to Jolt that his "making face-time" would soon become "making-time" (wink-wink nudge-nudge) later this week.

Sam scowled in his jealously from losing his friend to some fembot until this new-puppy-love phase was over. But Sam was being patient remembering when he and Mikaela began to date. How Bee tolerated them climbing all over his alt mode still eluded him.

He pondered random thoughts as the new, cute army-girls strut past; Tori and Chelsea. Except that Chelsea was a good friend with the minor twins, Skids and Mudflap, so that usually mean that-

"Yo! Sam, got a minute?" Mudflap hollered.

Sam somehow found the strength to open the massive door of the Auto-bot leader's private office as the Twins rushed towards him, then slam it in the face of Skids.

"Oh. Hello Sam. What can I help you with?" Optimus Prime asked.

"Sanctuary?" Sam asked as Optimus peered out the window to see the minor twins plus Chelsea and Tori pressing their faces against the glass.

"Ah. I see,"

Sam climbed up onto the overly large chair and laid down flat.

"Is there anything you'd like to ask me while we wait for the vultures to leave…and the two females."

"Not particularly. I do like Chelsea and Tori though. They're nice, pretty and smart…but don't tell Mikky!" he half-screamed. "It's the Twins I'm not so fond of."

"Sorry about the Twins. I told them to go hang put with a femme or something…I didn't think that they'd choose humans."

Sam laughed lightly to that. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind. "Hey Optimus, I can ask you anything, right?"

"Of course."

"Where do sparklings come from?" Sam asked sheepishly remembering himself being 9 years old and getting the response of "The baby factory."

The question caught Optimus off guard. "Well…when a fem-bot and a mech love each other very much-"

"Optimus, please skip the kid-lecture,"

"Sorry," Optimus apologized searching for the right words to explain Cybertronian reproduction. He thought back to the time where he had given Bumblebee the same 'Talk' all those centuries ago.

"Okay, first of all, our spark is the reproductive organ (and also our 'hearts') for both genders. Only a femme and a mech can create a sparkling because only each gender can fulfill each part of the creation period. The two will create a body for the sparkling. Then interface. Finally with the combination of the primitive spark, (created during interface), and energy from the All-Spark can a new spark be formed then placed into the new body."

"How do you interface?" Sam asked.

"The couple will expose their sparks, then push them together. If the two choose, the primitive energy form created in the interface can be combined with Cube power. But there is no more Cube. Hence, no more sparklings unless another way is found."

Sam processed this information, but still had to ask, "Even without the Cube, do robots still have se-…interface for fun?"

Heat built up behind Optimus's faceplates turning them reddish. "Well…um…yes, we do."

"How about you?"

Optimus's metal lips turned into a line. "Okay, that's enough prying for one day. The Twins are gone. You can leave now."

Sam laughed as Prime gently and playfully kicked Sam towards the door.

Just about to walk out, a revelation crossed Sam's mind.

"WAIT!" Sam screamed becoming awed and creeped out. A devious smile began to spread across his smug face.

"What?" asked the large malebot warily as the door closed again.

"Alright," the human began, "You said that the spark is your reproductive organ, right?"

"Yes?"

Sam laughed crazy-like, holding his stomach and falling to the floor in unbearable laughter.

"What!?"

Sam, struggled to get the words out, "You-you. Hahahaha! About 5 years ago during-during. Haha! During the first battle against Megatron at Mission City. Oh my Primus this is amazing!" Sam could barely speak.

"Spit it out, Sam!"

Sam took a deep breath, but it still came out breathless, "You're a dude-bot, and your spark is your reproductive organ. So when you told me to-to-to-to," Sam burst into a new wave of laughter, "You told me to shove the Cube into your 'organ'!"

Optimus's amused smile disappeared and his metal cheeks turned crimson.

"Uh…"

"So _technically_ you told me," Sam coughed to imitate Optimus's deep voice, "'Sam, push the Cube into my dick."

Optimus swallowed in embarrassment. "But-"

Sam continued his fake deep voice, "'Sam, if I cannot defeat Megatron, you must shove the Cube into my-"

"That's enough, Sam!" Optimus thundred as he shoved Sam out of the door and tears squeezed out from the human's eyes.

"What was that all about?" Tori asked as she walked over.

"Oh my Gods! Wait, get the Twins and Chelsea, they gotta hear this! Okay, remember what I told you about Mission City…"

**THE END.**

**Once again, total crack-fit. I am aware this isn't one of my best stories; I just wanted to get this information out. (lip tremble) BWAHAHA! It's so true! **

**No flames please. Review!**


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